Home base

I spent the last year thinking that my family was going to be moving from Maryland to Roanoke, VA this summer, about five hours away from me at school. Suddenly, it turns out, they're not. They'll be in good ole MoCo for at least the next few years. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm happy that they won't be five hours away from me at school and that I'll be able to see them. But I really don't like where they are now. I've already told them that they have to move before I have kids. I won't be bringing grandkids to that area. I'm only sort of joking. Even in the 7 years my family has been there the area has changed. Between bomb threats and anthrax, 9/11, the sniper shootings and the arrival of MS-13, the prostitutes that made the New York Times and the petty acts of violence, gang activity, and racism that occur everyday - I'm just fed up. It's time to abandon ship. Maybe I'm too cynical. I have dozens of friends who are perfectly content there. But I just don't feel right about it at all. My church feels like home there. I love my friends. Everything else about it sets me on edge. Every part of me wants to be in the country. I want to walk down the road in the middle of the night and not think that I will get raped or shot. I want to go to sleep to crickets, not sirens. I want to let my kids play outside and walk to their friends houses.

I made plans to move to Delaware under the impression that my family would be far away. So I finally know where I'm living and I just found out a few days ago that I got the awesome internship I applied for with the Cooperative Extension (thank you God!)!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to invest myself in the people at UD. I mentioned this briefly in my post from the spring retreat. Last semester I was very divided between going home to my church in MD and staying on campus on the weekends. I only even went to IV Friday night meetings once a month or so because I was always gone. I missed out on a lot of friendships that could have been formed. Really, I wasn't fully invested in either place. I was just drifting around trying to find what I felt satisfied me the most.

I think God has really used the Roanoke situation to force me to make a decision - and for that decision to be Delaware. I am called to be here right now. This is a season in my life where I have so many ministry opportunities - I am essentially running away from if I leave all the time for my church at home. My mind has shifted to focus on who I can reach out to here. Even though now my family will be staying, my mind and heart have been reset.

This is not to say that I want to drop my friends from home! Far from it! I had an amazing conversation with a friend from home yesterday that made my day! But I need to realize that while I can still grow from great friendships that I have there, it is important for me to be part of the missions going on at the UD campus and part of the fellowship at IV. And that means me being physically, emotionally, and spiritually here more than there.