Dependence

So much sin is so active in my life. I am so easily fooled.
Don't be fooled!
I am not immune to temptation.
I am saved by grace and secured for heaven, but the battle carries on while I'm here on earth. He never command His disciples to lay down their crosses, but rather to take them up! to persevere! The war with sin is not won in one battle in this life. Now is time for serious warfare. It is past time to put up my defenses and prepare to stand firm. With God's strength, I will not succumb to this selfish sin!

God rescue me! Sustain me in this fight - help me carry this cross that you have already borne.
Let all my actions be a testimony to how Your goodness and mercy and regenerating power has changed my life! Do not let Your Holy Name be reviled because of my weakness and my self-seeking. Help me fight this sin, and more than that even - help me HATE it.
I despise myself right now. There is nothing good in me at all. Break me further God, so that I have nothing at all of my own to lean upon. Cripple my self-righteousness. I am an adulterer, a slanderer, a murderer, an unbeliever, a hypocrite, a rebel. I am so unworthy of Your love! All I can do is fall down before You!
....

And just as I am about to finish writing, I begin to rationalize away my actions. I open to Proverbs and standing out on the page is

"All the ways of man are pure in his own eyes
but the Lord weighs the spirit." Proverbs 16:2

Wow, I have no excuses. When I sin, I choose to sin and convince myself it is fine. It is not. Teach me to love, God.