C.S. Lewis on Morality

Just wanted to share an excerpt from what I'm reading tonight. I like this specific illustration C.S. Lewis uses in Mere Christianity to show the difference between moral "rules," which would be what Christian's abide by as mandated by God, and moral "ideals," which the world creates and leans on.

C.S. Lewis writes,

"In reality, moral rules are directions for running the human machine. Every moral rule is there to prevent a breakdown, or a strain, or a friction, in the running of that machine. That is why these rules at first seem to be constantly interfering with our natural inclinations. When you are being taught how to use any machine, the instructor keeps on saying, "No, don't do it like that," because, of course, there are all sorts of things that look all right and seem to you the natural way of treating the machine, but do not really work." (emphasis mine)

"Ideals" are what people convince themselves are the right way to go about things. These self-imposed ideals can vary from person to person. For instance when someone says, "As long as you're a good person..." that means something different to everyone. Some say a "good person" just does what they want without hurting anyone. Others might say being a "good person" means that you don't kill, lie, steal, or have sex before marriage. This second person's "ideals" can easily lead to pride, when they begin to consider their 'ideals' better or more 'ideal' than the first person's. Without definitive rules of morality people are prone to that trap of pride. They expect to be congratulated for their superior "sense of morality."

C.S. Lewis writes,
"In reality you might just as well expect to  be congratulated because,
whenever you do a sum, you try to get it quite right. To be sure,
perfect arithmetic is "an ideal"; you will certainly make some mistakes
in  some calculations.  But there  is nothing very fine (aka impressive) 
about trying to be quite accurate at each step in each sum. It would be 
idiotic not to try; for every mistake is going to cause you trouble
later on.  In the same  way every moral failure is going to cause trouble,
probably to others and certainly to yourself. By talking about
rules  and obedience instead of "ideals" and "idealism" we help to remind
ourselves of these facts."  (definition, emphasis mine haha) 


Just something to think about.  I thought those were some good ways of putting it.
Reminds me a little of the debate last night.  

Psalm 77

In My Day of Trouble I Seek the Lord

I'm really struggling today.

PT is getting me down. I'm so frustrated by the slow progress, the setbacks, the pain, and the new and exciting discoveries about things that are physically wrong with me. As humorous as it can be, I'm sort of tired of being the teaching model at the trainer's room. The interns get to learn just about everything that can go wrong in a swimmer by observing just me. They get to practice knees exams, shoulder exams, post surgery exercises, nerve glides, electric stim, search and destroy, trigger point release... Really I suppose it's going well. I'm still progressing toward swimming (something I have very mixed feelings about).

Yesterday I finally bothered to tell my trainer how much my knees have been hurting lately. They've been hurting since I started swimming breaststroke a lot - five years ago. But my shoulders were always worse, so I figured I should pick one injury and stick with it. I couldn't tell coach that both my shoulders and my knees hurt because then I'm saying I can't pull or kick. And that just wouldn't go over well, even though that's the case. The intern did a knee exam and found that my IT band (running along the outside of the leg) is incredibly tight and is pulling my kneecap the wrong way. Hence every time I take a step I get shooting pain down the inside of my knees. Its tight because I swim breaststroke and ride horses - two activities that put a very abnormal pressure on the outside of the leg and develop the muscles/tendons/ligaments on the outside of the leg unequally from the inside of the leg. Its not a really big deal. I just have to do more stretches and more exercises. But its just one more thing. More doctor's appointments, more PT, more pain, more limitations. Another thing that I can fight, but really will be making worse the next two years.

My shoulders have generally been moving forward well, but recently I've had a trigger point in a very painful place on my upper/lateral scapula that has been causing intense pain down my right arm when I do some of my exercises. So I can't do the exercises. My PT rubs and pushes on the trigger point trying to get it to release. It hurts so bad the pain disperses and gives me a migraine-like headache.


Psalms is the most amazing book when I'm struggling with feeling hopeless or beat down. I think thats what I feel mostly - just beat down into the dirt and I kinda want to stay there and not even try to get up anymore. God always brings me back around.

Psalm 77 reminds me who my God is.

I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
2In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
3When I remember God, I moan;
when I meditate, my spirit faints.
Selah

4You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5I consider the days of old,
the years long ago.
6I said,"Let me remember my song in the night;
let me meditate in my heart."
Then my spirit made a diligent search:
7"Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
8Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
9Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?"
Selah

10Then I said, "I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High."

11I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
12I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
13Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
14You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
15You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah


16When the waters saw you, O God,
when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
indeed, the deep trembled.
17The clouds poured out water;
the skies gave forth thunder;
your arrows flashed on every side.
18The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
your lightnings lighted up the world;
the earth trembled and shook.
19Your way was through the sea,
your path through the great waters;
yet your footprints were unseen.
20You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

God never forsakes His children. Look at history. He leads them by the hand - through famine, drought, war, pain, humiliation, persecution, death. He is there. He is God - unchanging. Verse 7-8 say "Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time?" Isn't this what I'm asking in my heart when I complain about my pain?!? I am somehow questioning God's goodness toward me. I am doubting His plan and his promises to have good in store for me, a hope and a future.

This is also when I want someone with me, to curl up in their arms and be comforted. But how much greater is God than anyone else I could possibly turn to?!

I repent of my of my doubt! I want to love God and trust Him wholly. He knows what I am going through! He is there for me to grab on to He will not put any trial before me that I cannot withstand.

I am floored by His love and mercy - even just in providing His comforting Word to me!!

Praying for Virginia Tech

I am content to be at a loss for words over the Virginia Tech shootings. Too much ruins the seriousness of the tragedy and turns it into one of many - like everything else the newspapers have ever seen. I am praying for the community.

Suddenly the media is full of prayers. The newscasters send their prayers, the government sends their prayers, schools, towns, students. What are they praying to? Are they just mumbling comforting words under their breath to themselves? Are they questioning God's existence as they try to pray to him. Praying only as they think they ought? Do they believe that God is a cosmic Santa Claus who comes to life in desperate tragedies to listen to them mourn? What does it mean to them to be "sending their prayers?" What good are they?

Tonight there was a debate in Russell over the existence of a god. A lot of philosophical stuff was thrown out there that I didn't understand or that didn't seem very relevant. More than anything I was so sad for the life of this professor who didn't believe in God and was spending his career and life promoting disbelief. I remember being him.

I embraced the idea of 'existentialism' - and was very proud when I learned how to spell it without double checking. It more or less is a system of belief - if you can even call it that - where humans are essentially responsible for creating and following their own morality. There is no absolute. No absolute God. No absolute morals. If there is a God he does not care about humanity. At worst he is even antagonistic. Humans are alone in their struggle. The best thing to do is accept it and forge your own path with whatever meaning feels right to you.

In high school I was very engaged with this school of thought. It seemed right - after all, I didn't believe in God. So what other choice did I have? I read poetry and prose and literature formed by this . I wrote my own responses.

I used to have panic attacks thinking about death. Trying to comprehend non-existence. Which of course you can't. I tried to imagine what it would be like after I died. The world would go on without me. So I picture looking down on the world, like I'm floating up in a cold, dark, oppressive space. But no! I won't exist at all. So I won't see that. So I imagine darkness. But that, too, would be gone. I would be GONE. No more consciousness. The END.

I would start to hyperventilate. Sometimes I wouldn't be alright for the rest of the day. If I started having these thoughts at night, well, goodbye sleep. I used to have horrible dreams as well. From 7th through 11th grade, I - or someone - died in every. single. dream. I had. I dreamed almost every night.

I said tonight that I can't imagine what life would be like without God. Let me rephrase that: I've lived life without God. And its horrible. There IS something else. There IS a satisfaction to that craving. There IS an answer to prayer.

When you bend your head to pray tonight - ask who you're praying to, and what you're praying for. Before I was Christian, I closed my eyes and wondered "what on earth is the point of this?" "What do people think this is doing?" I talked in my head, asking if God was there. I was mystified at how this prayer thing was supposed to go. Ask God to reveal himself to you if you aren't sure. If you feel like you're talking to thin air - keep talking. He is listening. If you feel like something just isn't quite right, something is missing, like you're bowing your head to nothing but that just can't be all there is - Ask Him to fill that in. He will.

Home base

I spent the last year thinking that my family was going to be moving from Maryland to Roanoke, VA this summer, about five hours away from me at school. Suddenly, it turns out, they're not. They'll be in good ole MoCo for at least the next few years. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm happy that they won't be five hours away from me at school and that I'll be able to see them. But I really don't like where they are now. I've already told them that they have to move before I have kids. I won't be bringing grandkids to that area. I'm only sort of joking. Even in the 7 years my family has been there the area has changed. Between bomb threats and anthrax, 9/11, the sniper shootings and the arrival of MS-13, the prostitutes that made the New York Times and the petty acts of violence, gang activity, and racism that occur everyday - I'm just fed up. It's time to abandon ship. Maybe I'm too cynical. I have dozens of friends who are perfectly content there. But I just don't feel right about it at all. My church feels like home there. I love my friends. Everything else about it sets me on edge. Every part of me wants to be in the country. I want to walk down the road in the middle of the night and not think that I will get raped or shot. I want to go to sleep to crickets, not sirens. I want to let my kids play outside and walk to their friends houses.

I made plans to move to Delaware under the impression that my family would be far away. So I finally know where I'm living and I just found out a few days ago that I got the awesome internship I applied for with the Cooperative Extension (thank you God!)!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to invest myself in the people at UD. I mentioned this briefly in my post from the spring retreat. Last semester I was very divided between going home to my church in MD and staying on campus on the weekends. I only even went to IV Friday night meetings once a month or so because I was always gone. I missed out on a lot of friendships that could have been formed. Really, I wasn't fully invested in either place. I was just drifting around trying to find what I felt satisfied me the most.

I think God has really used the Roanoke situation to force me to make a decision - and for that decision to be Delaware. I am called to be here right now. This is a season in my life where I have so many ministry opportunities - I am essentially running away from if I leave all the time for my church at home. My mind has shifted to focus on who I can reach out to here. Even though now my family will be staying, my mind and heart have been reset.

This is not to say that I want to drop my friends from home! Far from it! I had an amazing conversation with a friend from home yesterday that made my day! But I need to realize that while I can still grow from great friendships that I have there, it is important for me to be part of the missions going on at the UD campus and part of the fellowship at IV. And that means me being physically, emotionally, and spiritually here more than there.

Dependence

So much sin is so active in my life. I am so easily fooled.
Don't be fooled!
I am not immune to temptation.
I am saved by grace and secured for heaven, but the battle carries on while I'm here on earth. He never command His disciples to lay down their crosses, but rather to take them up! to persevere! The war with sin is not won in one battle in this life. Now is time for serious warfare. It is past time to put up my defenses and prepare to stand firm. With God's strength, I will not succumb to this selfish sin!

God rescue me! Sustain me in this fight - help me carry this cross that you have already borne.
Let all my actions be a testimony to how Your goodness and mercy and regenerating power has changed my life! Do not let Your Holy Name be reviled because of my weakness and my self-seeking. Help me fight this sin, and more than that even - help me HATE it.
I despise myself right now. There is nothing good in me at all. Break me further God, so that I have nothing at all of my own to lean upon. Cripple my self-righteousness. I am an adulterer, a slanderer, a murderer, an unbeliever, a hypocrite, a rebel. I am so unworthy of Your love! All I can do is fall down before You!
....

And just as I am about to finish writing, I begin to rationalize away my actions. I open to Proverbs and standing out on the page is

"All the ways of man are pure in his own eyes
but the Lord weighs the spirit." Proverbs 16:2

Wow, I have no excuses. When I sin, I choose to sin and convince myself it is fine. It is not. Teach me to love, God.

Jesus' Humility

John 5

Jesus was and is fully God.
He created us, the earth, the stars, the oceans. He is seated with God. He is not lesser than God, but he submits to God. I can not wrap my mind around it - its incomprehensible, really. I cannot even pretend that I understand this mystery.
But what is striking to me is that Jesus, though he had infinite power, willingly submitted to God's plan. The plan that put him through shame, torture, scandal, mockery, death, and separation from his Father. He said, "Not my will, but Yours."

"The Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing." John 5:19
He said to his disciples, "I can do nothing on my own." and "I seek not my own will, but the will of him who sent me." John 5:30

If Jesus the Christ can do nothing apart from God, how HOPELESS am I??
I am certainly, absolutely, irrevocably frozen in death without God acting upon me!
Even saved and secured for an eternal life with God, I cannot even breath unless He wills it.
I cannot think except that God gave me a mind.
I cannot love except that God gave me a heart.
I cannot sing but that God gave me a voice,
or taste or talk but that He gave me a tongue, or be joyful but for the emotions He gave me, or work but that He gifted me with talents and strength.

So, like Christ, I am called to give the full use of my breath, mind, heart, tongue, emotion, talent and strength to God. They belong to Him anyway!! He created them - for HIS glory!

God thank you! that all of this is for you! Lord I don't have to wonder long why I am here, why you have created me in this way. God, though my understanding is earthly and limited - its all for YOU. God help me trust You! Help this answer be enough, Lord. Help me know that You are more than enough to satisfy me.

Spring Retreat

Its been a little while! I'm going to post a few days worth of notes, devotions and thoughts on this posting from the IV spring retreat!

IV Spring Retreat

Saturday Morning Quiet Time

1 Corinthians 12:13-27

13For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body--Jews or Greeks, slaves^[a] or free--and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

14For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts,^[b] yet one body.

21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." 22On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

27Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

Lord God – Thank you for how you have made me. For my uniqueness on this earth that no other creatures shares. Thank you that my body, my injuries and weaknesses, my mind and my talents, are all from you, for you and under your direction. God I pray that you empty me of everything that impedes me from seeing that truth every day. Let me lose all my selfishness. I desire to do everything to honor and bring glory to Your name! My flesh is weak O God! Every good thing in my life and my person is from You, it is in fact You working through me. These gifts have been given to me to use in Your kingdom work, to magnify Your name – not to advance my personal glories.

“Finally brothers,
whatever is true
whatever is honorable
whatever is just
whatever is lovely
whatever is commendable
if there is anything excellent
if there is anything worthy of praise
think about these things.”

Lord God please capture my mind! Ensnare it in thoughts and revelations of your
Amazing glory
Unfathomable Love
Infinite goodness and mercy
Lord, by your Spirit, train my heart to greater discipline
That I might love you more
That I might constantly be humbled
That I would love what you love
And hate what you hate.
Train me to recognize and despise sin, as you despise sin
Not that I would feel vain sorrow or worldly shame
But that I would have a right and godly grief over my disobedience to
My creator
My Savior
My Father
My God
Lord, stop my tongue mid-word before I displease you! Give my mind discernment and greater judgment about when and how I speak. I desire to cultivate a god glorifying patience and humility, that I will put my opinions and thoughts and humors into the dirt and only speak to glorify You.
Help me put self to death!
Help me bear my cross!
Help me love and follow the command of self control!

A loose tongue is a useful tool for the devil – it leads to more opportunities for sin, it opens the door to my sinful past and begins to glorify it. Help me not speak unless Your Holy Spirit will magnify my words.
Use me, O God,
To build up the weak and my brothers and sisters,
To encourage the strong and the leaders,
To spur on my companions,
To teach and share in all humility.
Keep my heart and my tongue constantly under Your hand.
Bring me closer into Your confidence
My savior
My Father
My rock
My foundation
My hiding place
My Shepard
My living water
My counselor
My sovereign
My fortress
My friend
My Lord
My cornerstone
My God
My way
My truth
My life!

Saturday Morning Message - John Pa

Jesus chose to bridge the immeasurable gap between us and God. People often say "you would understand if you walked in my shoes." Jesus, desiring to be a compassionate savior, walked not only in our shoes - He walked in our FLESH. He walked in our feet. He was humbled to being born, a human, fleshly, messy, undignified birth like any other living man. He was born into poverty, placed in a feed trough for animals. Manger has a romantic sentimental meaning for us now, it conjures up thoughts of the nativity scenes I put on my fireplace mantle every Christmas. But a manger is a feed trough. The rough wooden structure that hay was thrown into for the cattle and sheep to eat out of. Jesus was laid in this because he did not even have a crib or cradle. He faced every temptation that we will face.

He died so that we would live.
He suffered so that we would be healed.
He was cast out so that we would be brought in to God's family.
He became human so that we could become eternal.
In light of this great love, how do we respond? Jesus forgave and prayed for his crucifiers as he hung on the cross dying! By this power within us - who could we not forgive??

Saturday Retreat of Silence
(At this time we were given a passage of Scripture and some questions to think about. We were supposed to go and be totally alone and silent for an hour. I think it was something from Philippians - but as I was looking for a place to read I found a pony. So I climbed into the paddock and played with the pony and then spread out my coat on the ground so I could sit where he was grazing. As I watched the pony and listened to the stream that was behind me I was just really swept away by how amazing and good God is to us in giving us so much beautiful nature. So I wrote God a poem instead of doing the assignment.)

All beauty is a feeble shadow of Your glory, O Lord!

Lord God, the warm sun that settles on my cheeks is a cold pretender of Your warm love.
The gentle breeze that tosses my hair and rustles leaves is just a sigh of Your Holy Spirit's breath.
The brilliant light that glints off rippling water is a mere reflection of this worldy sun, which You glory dwarfs to nothing.
The running stream caressing smooth pebbles is music too lowly for Your heavenly courts.
The roaring waterfall plunging from heights is a meek whisper compared to Your worthy might.
The great expanse of the ocean is but a finite vapor next to Your unsearchable depths.
The rolling green hills decked with spring flowers are an afterthought to Your beauty.
The whole world faints, O God, for Your coming!
When Love will be realized!
When Grace will present itself to the ungraceful!
When beauty will fully defy words!
When we will say not
all we know is mere reflection of You
but see
Here Thou Art.

Sunday Morning

Is there unity on campus?

No. Think, just as one example, about racial reconciliation. It has not happened. This takes heart, gut, passion and love. It takes work. It is hard. And it has not happened because we are sinners trying to reconcile with sinners without God. We have taken it into our own hands and our own strength.

God is the great equalizer. We can be reconciled to each other only when we realize that we must ALL be reconciled to one far, far greater than us. We have ALL sinned against God. HE is the one we need to worry about being reconciled to. As children of God, then, we must be one with each other, united eternally under His blood.

He who is forgiven much

Loves much.

What about people who say all religions lead to the same place?
“There are many paths, but they all lead up the same mountain to the same peak.”

Try a different picture:
A woman is sick. The doctor gives her penicillin. What happens?
She gets better, says the world.

Wrong.

This disease isn’t cured by penicillin. It does nothing. She gets sicker. She dies.

You have to have the RIGHT medicine. NOT all are equal. No matter how committed or passionate that woman was about the penicillin, no matter how much she believed it was going to cure her – it was NOT going to work. It was as useless as water. As useless as no medicine at all.

If you had AIDS, and someone said that one medicine would cure you – then showed you a table with 1,000 different syringes on it - and you could only use one, wouldn’t it be incredibly essential to pick the ONE that contained the cure?

So it is with our souls. We are sick – we are dying. We are afflicted with sin and the prognosis is eternal death and separation from God. Only Jesus is the cure.

Sunday Morning Message

The church is the visual representation of our commitment to Christ. We are called to be together as a community – as one body.

John 13:34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”

Romans 12:10 “Love one another with brotherly affection.”

Romans 14:13 “Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.”

Romans 15:7 “Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Colossians 3:16 “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

Hebrews 3:13 “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”

Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

In Acts, Paul leaves the elders of a city, and together they wept in sadness that he was leaving them. Am I involved with the people around me to the point that I will weep when I leave them? That is my calling – to love, invest, engage. To be with EACH OTHER. I have made so many excuses not to invest. I think “I’ll only be here two more years.” In two years Paul discipled hundreds of people, maybe thousands. Sometimes he only stayed in a city for a few months. But he fully loved. He fully gave of himself for the advancement of the Gospel.

Now think:
We WILL make an IMPACT on the world. We already are. Our very existence means we affect the world around us.
Will it be to the glory of God?
Where will we shine like stars in the world of darkness, crookedness and corruption?