Friday Nights

A friend was dropping me off at my house tonight after an IV party, and it struck me tonight that I haven't been on campus at night in months. I've been going home or spending the night with friends off campus for so long that I'd forgotten the feeling of nightlife here. I saw the packs of people walking down the streets, the girls in heels, the open doors, . I felt a sadness that this was all Friday meant for them; a night to get drunk, be foolish, and wake up not knowing where they are. A time to revel in being young and stupid, to have excuses to not care about consequence, and to feel 'free.' Their liberation comes in shots.
As we drove past more and more people the scene became more familiar. I wasn't just looking at them anymore- I was remembering the feel of tired, cold feet walking blocks in those high heels, and the exhilaration of drunken laughter and stumbling, and the intoxicating anonymity of dark streets and dark makeup. It was so familiar because I was one of them last year. Not really that long ago.
It all came back to me like standing up too fast. The darkness rushed my brain - the dancing, the clothes, the guys, the jokes, the games... nothing was sacred and nothing was real. One night was one night. Consequence was a laughable concept, a joke like the rest.
I thanked God so fervently in my head as I realized how much he has changed me. He stole my heart away this summer and despite my flesh calling out to me, my heart has truly lost its taste for such things. It is only thanks to God that I am not out there tonight in a tiny tank top with a shot in one hand and a camera in the other. Thinking 'this is as good as it gets.'
Here's why this matters: anyone who parties think I'm quite ridiculous for thinking its all that scandalous. Its just fun, right? We're not hurting anyone. The truth is, God exists. Look out the window any morning, watch the sun rise, and just feel your heart revel in the glory of it, in the subtle colors, the purposeful ascent, the brilliant shining rays that slowly take over the sky. Tell me how the big bang put together that golden sunrise and survival of the fittest determined that your heart should melt at the sight of such flawless beauty. God is glorious. That sunrise is one tiny part of his imaginative creation. He is perfectly loving, good, holy, and righteous. He cannot lie, cheat, misjudge, or be selfish, greedy, lustful, or mean. He is everything we cannot be. We can try our hardest and still fall infinitely short compared to his infinite perfection. We can never be with God. His perfection, by its very nature, cannot tolerate sinfulness. Humans are doomed to a life apart from him - the very source of good, love, and light.
When I came to faith Jesus died to give me a new life, and eternal life on top of that, where I CAN be with God, where my sin will never be counted against me...I was eternally changed. Inside out, I was not the same. The new life within me, given by Jesus, came with a new and constantly maturing conscience and a heart for things concerning heaven instead of earth.
The drinks, dancing, flirting, makeup, the low cut shirts and tiny shorts, the beers and shot glasses, the music, the grungy sofas, the pong tables, the red cups are all fading away. The attention from guys, the envy of girls, the physical beauty, and the raw sexuality are all falling away fast. None of these things last long, not even in this lifetime. They are just a second and then they are like dust, swept away from us to never return. They are never useful, and often detrimental. In the scheme of eternity they are even more fleeting and futile.
Why waste a Friday night collecting memories you'll hate to remember? Why drink your way to happiness instead of experience the real thing? Why sell yourself short to some guy in a frat tshirt, when real love awaits? Why invest your time in empty friendships when honest fellowship exists?
I've been on the other side. But its better over here. Thank you God! I'm never going back :)